Saturday Night Beavers
by Felix Rodriguez
Summary: Handy and Toothy want ladies to dance with them at the school dance, so they follow the person who they believe will make them "cool": Disco Bear. Starring: Toothy, Handy, and Disco Bear. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything, Mondo Media does.

**Saturday Night Beavers**

**Starring: Toothy, Handy, and Disco Bear**

**Featuring: Giggles, Petunia, The Cat, Lifty, Shifty, and The Mole**

Everyone was busy preparing the gymnasium of the Happy Tree School for the big school dance that would take place later that night. Handy was instructing The Mole where exactly to place the lights in the ceiling. Toothy, Nutty, and Cuddles placed chairs all around the gym for tired out dancers to rest. Giggles, Mime, and Petunia were placing decorations up all over the gym while Sniffles was by himself in one of the corners setting up a piñata. Some hummed a song, but it was clear everyone was happy while they worked. However, an evil pair of eyes peered at the workers from directly outside the gym.

Outside, The Cat smiled evilly at the thought of the havoc he would reek tonight at the dance. The other members of his group, Lifty and Shifty, laughed at the thought of making money. Their plan would be to assault the dance, steal any objects from the people inside, and make a clean getaway with all their loot. As Lifty and Shifty still laughed their evil laugh, The Cat smiled at the thought of causing mass chaos and pandemonium. The Cat then led the two brothers away to prepare for tonight as Disco Bear danced up on the sidewalk. As he moved along, he spied the work that was taking place inside. Naturally, he gave his typical, "Oh yeah!", opened the doors, and proceeded inside.

Though the work was frivolous, Toothy sighed at the thought of not having anyone to dance with. Across the way, Handy thought the same exact way. Both beavers headed away from their workplace and wandered towards the center of the gym where Petunia and Giggles were busy chatting away. Their spirits were lifted as they approached the girls. They both asked the girls to dance with them tonight to which Giggles and Petunia tried to stifle their laughter, but ultimately laughed at the beavers' request and walked away. Toothy and Handy sighed dejectedly and turned to leave.

Disco Bear, having viewed the rejection in front of him, ran up to the two beavers and stopped them from departing. He then showed off some of his dance moves and finished off with an "Oh yeah!"

Toothy and Handy stared at Disco Bear with their eyes lit up in amazement. They thought that he could teach them how to be "cool" and how to get the girls to dance with them. As Disco Bear moon-walked out of the building, the beavers followed him in awe.

Back inside, The Mole returned to his workstation, having taken a break. He "looked" for Handy, but couldn't find him so he shrugged and walked around to look for a ladder to finish putting up the lights. His wanderings led him over to the corner where Sniffles had finished setting up the piñata hook and was getting ready to set up the piñata itself. When his cane hit the ladder, The Mole reached out and grabbed the ladder, pulling it out from under Sniffles. Sniffles gasped but managed to grab onto the piñata hook with his long tongue. He sighed at his good luck and began to pull himself up with his tongue so he could grab onto the hook with his hand.

Across the way, Cuddles and Nutty, having done their jobs, were throwing a football around. Cuddles instructed Nutty to go long which the giggling Nutty obeyed. Nutty ran over to the corner where Sniffles now grabbed the piñata hook with his hand, and started to retract the rest of his tongue. With Nutty in position under Sniffles, Cuddles threw the football. The football overthrew its mark and hit Sniffles smack in the back of the head, shoving his head forward, impaling his tongue and forehead on the hook. Sniffles' dead body fell back, but his impaled tongue prevented his body from falling to the floor, creating a grisly looking piñata.

Now that he had a ladder, The Mole climbed up and finished placing the lights on the ceiling. Without Handy's guidance, The Mole placed these last lights in the wrong position causing them to spark. The Mole nodded his head that he had done a good job and climbed down the ladder.

Out on the street, Disco Bear strutted down the street with Handy and Toothy following suit. As Pop and Cub passed them, Disco Bear clicked his tongue and pointed his fingers. Pop glanced back quizzically to make sure his eyes had seen what he thought they saw.

The three made their way to Disco Bear's house, where he would teach them how to get the girls to dance with them. Disco Bear danced over to his house and turned around, wanting to see what skills (if any) Toothy and Handy possessed. Toothy tried to pull off a dance move, but tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground. Handy then tried, and was pretty decent, until he fell over Toothy and fell on the ground as well.

Disco Bear sighed and retreated into his house. He then came back out pulling off some dance moves, leaving the beavers in awe once again. For the next few hours, Handy and Toothy were taught all of Disco Bear's tricks.

Once, while the two beavers were practicing a dance move, Petunia walked up on the side of the road. Disco Bear went up to her and yelled, "Hey!" and winked at her. All she did was say "Humph" and walked away to get ready for the dance. All Disco Bear did was head back to his two pupils.

A few hours later, Disco Bear let Handy and Toothy borrow some of his old clothes, and the three went off to the dance. The three went down the center of the street with Disco Bear leading. On his left, Toothy was dressed in a white leisure suit with a brown afro wig and a gold chain which read "Groovy". On Disco Bear's right, Handy was dressed in red bellbottom pants, a blue jacket, his hardhat, his belt, and three foot tall platform shoes, making him tower over the other two. All three strutted down the street towards the school to show off their "coolness".

Outside the dance, three M4A1 Carbines were cocked as The Cat, Lifty, and Shifty readied themselves to assault the dance. The two brothers laughed while The Cat grinned evilly at the thought of causing massive pandemonium.

Inside, most everyone was enjoying themselves. With Lumpy as the DJ, Cuddles, Giggles, Petunia, Mime, Nutty, Russell, The Mole, and numerous Generic Tree Friends were dancing the night away. Flaky was sitting by herself, too nervous to dance with anyone. Over in the corner Sniffles' body still hung, everyone thinking it was the piñata. Overhead, the last lights that The Mole hung were still sparking and unlit since they luckily hadn't been plugged in. Suddenly, the doors flung open, and light shone in as Disco Bear, Toothy, and Handy marched into the room. Everyone stared at the three who were obviously dressed for the wrong decade.

As if on cue, all three posed and gave an "Oh yeah!" Instantly, laughter echoed in the gym, but they paid no attention. Disco Bear smiled at his work and ushered the two beavers to go get the girls to dance with them. He then heard the music being played and gasped. Disco Bear angrily stomped over to Lumpy to complain about the choice of music.

A group of people now gathered at the Sniffles piñata, intent on smashing it open. Nutty was easily first in line and was giggling all the while Mime was placing the blindfold on him and giving him a baseball bat. Nutty was then spun around several times and began swinging the bat wildly. One of the swings accidentally knocked Mime's head off, sending it flying across the room. Tired of not hitting anything, Nutty took off his blindfold, spied the "piñata", and swung at it with all his might.

Upon being hit, Sniffles' body split open, spilling its organs and fluids on the floor, which were promptly gobbled up by the giggling Nutty. Upon tasting it, however; Nutty held his hand over his mouth and vomited all over the floor. At the same time, Russell came dancing by, and slipped on Nutty's vomit, sending him speeding across the floor with a "Yaaaaaar!".

Toothy and Handy made their way over to the ladies as Disco Bear, having yelled at Lumpy, placed a disco ball in the center of the room, confident that it would help the mood. However, he heard again that Lumpy would refuse to play a disco song, and he angrily stomped over to Lumpy again to complain.

Toothy spied Giggles and ran over to her, as Handy still strutted along. Suddenly, the speeding Russell came zooming by, slicing Handy's stomach open with his hook, causing some of his intestines to spill out of his body. Handy ran away screaming towards the center of the gym as the screaming, speeding Russell tripped over Mime's head, sending him flying into a vending machine which, in turn, fell on Russell, crushing him.

Over by Lumpy, Disco Bear tried to prove to Lumpy that disco was better than the music that he was currently playing. Disco Bear pulled out a remote and pressed a button on it. The disco ball in the center of the room started to spin around in a circle and Disco Bear smiled confidently, then went back to arguing with Lumpy.

Handy ran towards the center of the room when the spinning disco ball hit him. Handy's sliced-open intestines wrapped themselves around the top of the disco ball, sending Handy for a ride. Since he had no hands to pull his intestines off, Handy screamed as he spun around as the disco ball moved faster and faster in a circle. Soon, his platform shoes flew off in opposite directions.

Cuddles was at the punch bowl when one of Handy's shoes impaled him in the back of the head, forcing his head into the punch bowl. Cuddles couldn't lift his head out and could only bubble as he soon drowned in the punch.

Meanwhile, The Cat and his two cohorts opened the outside doors of the gym and made their way inside. The Cat, grinning like a madman, yelled out, "Mow! Mo-," but then was instantly hit in the face with the other platform shoe, killing him. Lifty and Shifty gasped at their leader's death and dropped their weapons. Their looks of shock were soon replaced with grins as Shifty pulled out The Cat's gold watch. Thinking that it would garner a couple bucks at the pawn shop, Lifty and Shifty laughed and ran off to the pawn shop, leaving their boss' body behind.

Handy still spun around screaming. Finally, his internal organs were pulled out of his body causing his body to fly across the room, finally killing Handy. The disco ball, now spinning out of control, detached from the ceiling and flew across the room as well, flying faster than Handy's body.

Petunia, laughing and having a wonderful time, asked, "Huh?" as she saw something heading towards her. The glass disco ball smashed against Petunia's face, impaling it with shards of glass. She screamed as Handy's intestines now hit her smack in the face, causing her to spill her punch on an electrical socket. She stood on the electric cord coming from the socket trying to get Handy's organs off her and was electrocuted. The dead Petunia was then hit by the organ less body of Handy, knocking them both to the floor.

After the disco ball came loose, all the lights did as well, and came tumbling to the floor with a crash. The only lights left up were the ones that The Mole had poorly set up but not plugged in, which were still sparking, a warning to anyone that thought to plug them in.

After the lights fell, most everyone had now died apart from Lumpy and Disco Bear who were still arguing, Flaky who still sat by herself in a corner (oblivious to all the death), The Mole who had avoided being crushed by the lights because he was dancing on a spot with no lights, Nutty who was still trying to find a piece of the broken Sniffles piñata to eat, and Toothy and Giggles who were over in another corner of the room.

Toothy, trying to woo Giggles, now began to dance, but ultimately tripped over a cord, sending him flying towards Giggles who was fixing a streamer that refused to stay up. Toothy collided into Giggles, causing her to get entangled into the streamer. As she flailed her arms to free herself, she only ended up trapping herself even more, eventually suffocating.

The hungry Nutty still inspected the destroyed body of Sniffles for anything that appeared to be candy. He only found Sniffles' glasses, which he tasted, then declared, "YUCK!" and threw them as far as he could. In anger, he then threw the bat he had broken Sniffles open with as well.

Back in the corner, Toothy got back up and shook his head, woozy from tripping. He then looked only to have the temple arms of Sniffles' glasses impale him through the eyes. Toothy screamed and was then simultaneously hit by the baseball bat as well, forcing the glasses father into his head, destroying his brain. Toothy then fell over on the ground, dead. Finally, the streamer broke, causing Giggles' body to land on top of Toothy's.

Disco Bear sighed as he gave up arguing with Lumpy. "Huh?" he asked as he spied Handy and Toothy across the room, ignoring all the carnage. From the way he was positioned, Disco Bear didn't see that his two pupils were dead, but only saw that Handy's body was on Petunia's body and Giggles' body was on Toothy's. Believing he had succeeded in creating two "cool" people, Disco Bear triumphantly left the gymnasium a happy bear and strutted down the street towards his home.

Back in the school, Lumpy now played a fast paced disco song, just the kind that Disco Bear wanted. Flaky opened her eyes and summoned up the courage to join The Mole on the dance floor, ignoring all the death and destruction around them. Nutty, sad that the piñata had been a flop, walked over towards a socket and noticed that a plug wasn't plugged in. Giggling, Nutty plugged in the lights that The Mole had set up incorrectly, causing the whole school to explode.

Several hundred feet away, Lumpy and his DJ system landed unharmed next to a tree. "Huh?" Lumpy asked as he looked around and saw nothing.

"Oh well," Lumpy shrugged and continued to play the same disco song. In the tree next to Lumpy, Toothy's "Groovy" chain landed inside a nest, followed by an iris out.

**Moral: Dance the night away! **


End file.
